Mis-spoken

Strange things can happen in the early morning, while waiting for the day’s caffeine to kick in.  I guess it can happen at other times of day, too, like years ago when I needed to set-up service at my new apartment and called the local electric company, saying, “Hi, I’d like to request a turn-on, please.”  Of course, the minute I realized what I'd said, I started laughing so hard I had to hang up the phone.

But that was my mouth, which is different from my ears, and the ears of others who’d had less than the necessary amount of coffee at LAX earlier in the week.  As we stood in the tunnel about to board the plane, a number of us noticed that a man was bringing his dog on board in its pet carrier, and one man asked the question we all wanted to know about flying with your dog: how much was the airline charging for this perk?  The pet owner cheerfully explained that - even though it was expensive - it was worth it to have Poochie with him.  To bring your pet on board, the airline charged $95 per leg.  I quickly did the math in my head --- that would be $380 for the dog to ride along!  Passengers exchanged looks, and, of course, many of us began thinking that it would be cheaper to have a dog with three legs.  One man even remarked that, perhaps you could tie back one of the legs and pay only $285.  Finally, the dog owner realized what we were all thinking, and explained that it was a $95 charge for each “leg” of the flight.

And then there was the early morning in Greeley, CO., when Nancy and George and I sat around, not yet through our first cup of coffee.  I was wearing some comfortable fur slippers that Nancy had loaned me, and stuck my leg up in the air, letting the rim of my pajama bottom fall back.  “What kind of fur is this?” I wanted to know.  Both of them looked at me in horror and informed me it was time to shave.  Friends, that’s not the “fur” I meant!